Ending of summer.

awe, summers ending slowly. i can even feel it in the breeze (: but this summer has been satisfying to me, in a way i wish some drama didn't happen, but it did anyway (x but cheers to a new year, with a new mind and a new approach. i'm pretty excited for soph year, i don't wanna jinx myself but i have good vibes about this. summer ending makes me sad though, this was packed with it's good memories, and bad as well. but still, this was a life changing summer for me, that's fersure. ooh, and just when i think summer had it's bad ending, "someone" comes along my way and turns it around. but he just has no idea he did. and hopefully, as the year moves along, that'll progress. i hope... (: hehe. cause in all honesty, i have good vibes about chu too boyyyy. but you just don't even know it, at all.

but anyways, i'm not gonna update on this anymore. maybe one day i'll come back, haha i guarantee i'm gonna come back in like december and laugh at myself with these posts. but hey, this is exactly why i do them. to look back and smile :) goodbye blogspot, you've been good to me :) haha.

Impossible

I never thought once in the 2 and a half years we shared it would come down to this. All that I replay in my head is the thought of how it was impossible to separate us. It was impossible to be without each other. Now, it's impossible to be with each other. I don't worry too much anymore, but I can't help but still wish it didn't go this way. What happened to us coming up after every fight, every break up ? What happened to the fact that we actually wanted to keep our relationship strong. We've become so weak, you don't even wanna try anymore. I still remember how the strength of our relationship meant so much to us. I still can clearly remember smiling to you, to myself, or to anyone explaining our relationship as "thru thick & thru thin". What the ef happened ? I miss that way too much. It's clear as water, I still miss you but then again, I can't. Because you're not the same. You don't even try. I only miss it when you & I would fight together to make sure we were still strong & happy. We disagreed to agree. Not agree to disagree. I'm nowhere near sure, I'm lost to what's happened to us. I know, we're both living our lives, doing what we do. You're doing you & I'm doing me. Yeah, I know that already. I'll be fine, just needa' let go, that's all !

"now we disconnected, i thought we was different be we
aint no acception. late night texts' keep us arguin'. used to be
running through my mind, now you're joggin'. now your just walking,
footsteps lightly; till they start to fade away and all i hear i silence.
fuck every here and there but i feel no attachment. used to be a
mazing, dont know how that happened. used to say i love you, and i
would really mean it. now im just sitting thinking trying to comprehend
the meaning"
Heartbreak Collision - Dolla

a different kind of pain.

i`m back in this game again , and i always get hurt . wtf ? seriously . i can only take so much . it`s getting annoying , but i`m still upset . i regret it , but as far as i see it i could`ve either let you continue to make me feel unappreciated it , or just let you go . idk if you learn , you`re always gonna be the same stubborn boy i`ve known since 3 years ago . but all i know is you`re something . this relationship for once in a long ass time (& i mean long) actually meant to much to me , weird enough . this one actually got me believing this was it , it felt right . still does , but you always gotta do something don`t you ? just that special something . i`m out . " i mean shit , i`m only 15 & a perfect couple only exists in a dream "

too much !

has happened from when i last updated . la la la , too lazy to put into words and my computers still broken . and NOW , as of yesterday i`m celly deprived because it finally broke in half on me . now , i have to wait like 2 weeks . but on the plus side , i can get a brand spankin` new phone , cos mother said my plan expires on the 25th . YAAAY ! (: i`m so happy . hmm , summer`s been pretty darn good . that`s all i can say , summer 09 is treating me fairly well . almost over tho , and sophy year here i come ! updated whenever . oh and i`m attempting to save for a laptop . note , attempting . HAHA . payce !

the way we used to be.

it`s pouring, lightning, & thundering outside. and it`s 5:04 AM. i think for the first time in my life i`m gonna pull of an all nighter. i can`t seem to get my mind straight, so i guess i`ll just hit up loserboii & find a song to suit my mood. i`m so "dissapointed" i guess i could put it. i had you, then all of a sudden you`re out of my reach. you`re right there, but it feels like you`re on the other side of the world. it hurts hella bad. one of the worst feelings is having exactly what you wanted in your grasp, and then it`s snatched right away from you. i`m clueless up at this point, i don`t really know what to do or how to feel. i just want everything back to how they once were, i hate how it all got so complicated. i just wanted me & you, together, happy. but i guess things can`t always be that way, hm ? the days i`ve been waiting for, or hoping for, finally come & i`m happier than ever. i mean, everyone could tell. you could see it so clear on my face. & then it`s just gone, again. it hurts so fucking bad, i gotta admit, it really fucking kills. explaining why i`m up, and i guarantee i`ll be up all morning now. i can`t sleep.. ):

my babyboy & some annoyance.

official, with baby (: 072109 <3 i love you, & i've missed you. glad we`re back to how it`s suppose to be <3

mmmKAY. so wow, for one thing, my computer has been broken. stupid jambo looked up porn and fucked my computer. i haven`t had one for like 3 weeks now, freal. wherever i go that has a computer, i`m using it hahah ! (: but it`s whatever, i`ve been out a lot. i`ve learned that the computer is shit haha, i can survive without it. but i do prefer to have one. damn, last last week movies with rhea <3 saw my sister`s keeper ): sad shit. then a few days later, movies with baby, saw ice age ! :D hehehe such a cute movie. basically yeah i`ve been occupied. it`s summer ! i`m lovin` life y`know. tennis practice every wednesday. UGH, was suppose to hit up sixflags all day today but decided to cancel cause of the weather. shit ! but haha it`s okay, going thursday. tommorrow practice -_- grawr. so all in one lil` paragraph, yeup, that`s been my summer haha. just out out out. and right now, at the best`s house <3 summers been going by way too fast, back to school again before we know it. fuck ! haha.

and as a last note, you fucking annoy me lil kehd. idc, don`t fucking text me or comment me, damn sucking up. i can`t stand your lil ass, get a fucking life. expect my brother to pick you up ?! excuse me, my family has no idea who the hell you are and i`m out first of all, and you want me to ASK my brother to pick YOU up ?! you`re a mess haha, damn don`t even talk to me. see you in high school lil one ! decues, be back whenever ! summer summer summer.

summer nights

are my absolute faves` <3 mmmm. i love the night time during summer, i'd sleep outside if i could. hah :) i love just sitting on my diving board, just chillin` bahah. it`s weird, i ain`t your typical (but what`s new). a lot of people love the sun, they`ll have their ipods on them & just lay out in the sun. me ? naaaw. i like the night ! haha i`ll be the one laying out in the moon, whattttt what. haha ! i`m just a night time person i guess. on a second note, i hate when 2 big events happen on the same day. but i don`t break no promises, whatever was planned first i`ll go to. gah, saturday. but whatevs ! it`s all good, i`ll be with my Keithers :) & on a third note, i LOVE my sister. i can`t lie, where would i be without her. i`ve always known i loved her, but there are days where i can`t imagine what my life would be like without her. plus, how would i deal with the stress my mama gives me. she`s there for me, maybe has the wackiest of advice, but no matter what she`s there. i tell her everything, not one thing i don`t tell her on this damn earth haha. i lab you sista sista ! ♥